I need to commit to a yoga practice. The occasional sun salutation and tree pose performed sporadically every few weeks does not count as a yoga practice. I need the balance and calm that comes from a daily practice. I need to release of endorphins. I need the boost in my sex drive. Even if it's just for ten or fifteen minutes a day. I *need* this.
And yet, I cannot seem to find the time for this. Such a tiny fraction of time out of every given day. Ten minutes out of 1,440 minutes. We are talking about less than 1% of the day devoted to calming and centering myself so I can be a better and happier person. A better and happier mother. A better and happier wife.
Less than 1% of a day dedicated to myself so I can be more fulfilled in connecting with those around me.
Less than 1% of a day to simply...breathe.
I need to clean my house. I need to get rid of the clutter. Eric and I have committed to getting rid of 1/3 of all our stuff. This should be easy. On any given day I hardly use any of my possessions.
I own far too many clothes of which I wear a small and select few items. The fact that I even own high heeled shoes is ridiculous! I do not imagine I am *ever* going to wear those mauve, open-toed, sling-back heels ever again in my life. They match one dress that I may not even own anymore and they are not comfortable. The thought of wearing them, even for an event if I even still own that dress, is ludicrous! My bunions scream "Hell NO!"
I used to purge my closet annually. If I hadn't worn an item in the past year it either went into the trash or to Goodwill. I fell out of that habit a few years ago. Last year, while pregnant, I didn't feel the need to do this ritual. I didn't know what clothes I may be wearing in the months or year to come, so to get rid of things I might wear wasn't logical. This year the purge will happen. And I'm sure I can get rid of at least 5% of my clothes and shoes.
I have two massive CD racks. Each holds close to 1,000 CDs. After 16 years in the music business, I have amassed a grand music collection (which is certainly far smaller than the collections of most other industry veterans I work alongside). But here's the truth -- I don't listen to the vast majority of this music. There have to be at least 100 - 200 CDs that are still shrink-wrapped. What's the point of even owning these? And yet, I don't want to get rid of them. Not until I have gone through the collection and incorporated them into my digital music collection. And even then, do I get rid of the physical product or find a way to store them?
Mind you, the racks are against one wall in the living room which would really have no other purpose, except for possibly hanging artwork. The wall runs perpendicular to our front door and putting furniture against it would impede entry into our home. They may not serve a greater purpose, but at least they are neat and orderly. To me, they are not clutter. And yet, when the time comes that I do purge this collection, I will likely only keep 10% of the actual CDs.
I also own a fair number of LPs. Getting rid of the vinyl is a non-starter. I'm keeping that collection.
But therein lies part of my problem. I like my collections. I like my lunch boxes and Pez machines. They are arranged atop our kitchen cabinets. They are not in the way or occupying otherwise useful space. I like the tangible throwback to childhood in these items. Yes. I am an adult who likes her toys. But do I need them? They are an easy target in the 33.33% purge process. They are not needed. So what's a girl to do?
We do have too much "stuff" for the sake of having "Stuff" and life would be simpler without so much Stuff. We wouldn't have to constantly be cleaning up Stuff and trying to find homes for Stuff. We would have things of use and value and logical homes for such things.
Yes. Life would be simpler.
And perhaps I wouldn't be so stressed about the Stuff.
Perhaps I would be able to find that 1% of my day to deal with the important things. To tend to my needs. To relax. To find calm within to allow me to be a petter person.
And I really need to find the calm within.
Breathe...
I really need to commit to a yoga practice.
