Restful

I'm about 20 hours into my 48 hours of bed rest.  Yesterday I was actually pretty tired, but today I'm full of energy.

So, Thursday 12 embryos were biopsied.  Friday morning I got the call scheduling the embryo transfer for Saturday at 10:30am.  The hadn't received the results of the genetic testing yet, but they wanted to get me scheduled all the same.

I woke up Saturday morning early.  The house was dark and quiet.  Eric was already awake.  I could smell the coffee perking.  It was cool in the bedroom and I was snug and warm under the blankets and I honestly thought it was Christmas morning.

We grabbed breakfast on the way to the clinic at one of our favorite places on Melrose, shared some good laughs and great conversations with the other regulars and then we headed out with oodles of well wishes on our side.

As we were waiting to be brought back for the transfer, our doctor arrived and said he was glad to see us there.  We told him that we hadn't heard the results of the testing and he sat down next to us to give us the news.

Of the 12 embryos, only four were normal.  Based on our ages, he said that ratio is pretty much right on target.  He said that for sure we had one star blastocyst.  He was going to get the growth report and we'd go over everything once we got to the transfer room.

Embryo #1 is our blastocyst.  Embryo #2 is at the morula stage (e.g., day 4).  Embryo #6 is a 12-celled embryo which is typically for late in day 3.  Embryo #7 is only 6-celled, so, while genetically normal, they weren't optimistic that it would grow any further.  These pictures were taken at approximately 7:20am.

We discussed which embryos would be transferred with our doctor and with one of the lead embryologists and we decided to transfer 1, 2 and 6.  I was prepped and by the time the embryos were brought in for transfer, embryo 2 had developed into a blastocyst and was hatching and embryo 6 was compacting to the morula stage.  Great news!

We were on our way home around 12:30.  The sun was shining and the air was so clear.  There's something about Los Angeles after it rains and, after a week of on-and-off rains, the city sparkled more than usual after a storm.

And now I'm just resting.  I've got loads of energy today, but I shall continue to follow doctor's orders and do a whole lot of nothing.  I'll just rest and let Eric keep taking care of me.  This morning he even made pancakes for breakfast.

On Call

The egg retrieval on Monday went great.  21 mature eggs were aspirated and 14 had fertilized by Tuesday morning.  That's right on the 2/3 fertilization rate average.

As of this morning, 12 looked great and were being biopsied for the genetic testing.  If results come back in Friday and look good, embryo transfer will be on Saturday, although there is a chance that the transfer won't be until Sunday.

Basically, we're on call pending the results of the testing. 

The doctor did say that he's very pleased with how the embryos look today and he's confident that we will get to the blastocyst stage this time.  He let me decide if I wanted to wait until day five to do the biopsy, but, as I told him, the impatient side of me doesn't want to wait a month to do the transfer.

Plus, day three testing has been the protocol for genetic testing for years.  It's only within the last two months that they have begun testing on day five blastocysts.  And I'm sure that he would not have given me an option if he didn't feel that it was warranted.

We're excited.  Eric has stocked up on NetFlix for our weekend entertainment.  We've cancelled our various plans and now we wait.

Here We Go Again...

It is official.  Egg retrieval will be on Monday at noon.

Of course this means I have to administer the trigger shot precisely at the stroke of midnight tonight.

WHAT?

Our doctor sure has one heck of a sense of humor.  Midnight?  Doesn't he realize I tend to go to bed by 9pm?  Especially while undergoing IVF.  Stimulation is tiring!

Hell, my ovaries are touching each other.  They are ready to be getting on with this, but trigger at midnight?

At least the nurse thanked me for being such a good sport.

Stay The Course

Those have been the orders from the doctor lately.  FSH at one-click above 25 and come back in two days for more blood work and another ultrasound.

I cannot deny that I'm feeling it this time.  I'm worn out.  I'm tired of all these doctor appointments.  I'm tired of trying to figure out what my insurance is covering and following up on the claims that are listed as "Processed" with no payments made.

Physically I'm feeling pretty run down.  Thankfully over the past few days of injections I have managed to not add to my bruise collection, so my abdomen is starting to feel better, but I'm ready to get on with this.  Let's get that egg retrieval scheduled so I can sit up straight without discomfort.

On a positive note, and if I remember correctly, there are 18 follicles between 10 mm and 18 mm growing.  Hopefully most will be close to 20 mm tomorrow.  If it's anything like last time, once they get close, the RE will up the FSH to help get as many as possible to cross that 20 mm threshold and we'll be able to schedule the retrieval for Tuesday or Wednesday.  Then, assuming everything looks good and the genetic testing doesn't show problems, embryo transfer will be six days later.

Here's to hoping!

The Waiting Game

We've all played it.  Whether it be waiting for something to end (the work day, the traffic jam, a particularly bad movie that your friends are enjoying) or for something to arrive (Christmas morning, your wedding day, a phone call, a promotion), we're all felt the anticipation (or dread) and all played games to help pass the time.

Lately I've been realizing how much this IVF process is a waiting game and it gets played every couple of days.  Injections, blood work, ultrasound and wait for a phone call. 

Everything looks good, more injections, blood work, another ultrasound and wait for a phone call.

New instructions, more injections, blood work, another ultrasound and wait for a phone call.

Another set of new instructions, more injections and tomorrow will bring about more blood work, another ultrasound and another wait.

I keep waiting for the cycle to be cancelled.  Today, as I sit somewhat uncomfortably thanks to the growing follicles, I'm already waiting for the call tomorrow afternoon.  Will we continue with the current FSH dosage?  Will it be reduced?  Increased?  Cancelled?

I need to distract myself, but I was reminded last night that I'm almost out of syringes and will need to get more.  Do I need to get those at the pharmacy or would the clinic be able to give me a few to use through the end of the cycle?  I would call today and ask, but whenever I've gotten ahead of myself on these types of things, I've ended up not needing whatever medication I picked up.

I have enough syringes to get me through Wednesday night.  If I need more, I'm sure Eric would be able to pick them up for me.

Still.  They are on my mind. 

Of course, that's possibly due to the fact that this time around my abdomen has been resistant to the needles.  I've managed to nick a capillary almost every time.  They don't bleed for more than a couple of seconds, but my belly is covered in little bruises.  I'm running out of non-black-and-blue skin to poke into and the waistline of my pants is managing to ride right along the bruise-corridor.

And my poor arm!  I've got a little red mark over the vein.  As much as it hurts a bit to have the blood drawn on the left arm, I think I might ask them to switch tomorrow to give the old right one a break.  I actually jumped a little yesterday when the tech tried to draw blood.  A tiny jump which caused the needle to pull out, so poor Mr. Right Arm got a double jab yesterday.

Up until yesterday I have been going to the gym to channel some of this waiting game anxiety, but that's really an option at this stage of stimulation.  Even though the follicles are small, I can feel them.  Walking around the grocery store yesterday wiped me out.  Perhaps I'll lounge in the hammock while reading or laugh at the dogs as they chase each other around the yard -- anything to take my mind off the process. 

I have no control over the outcome.  I'm following all of my RE's instructions.  Everything else is in his hands.  I have to trust that he's adjusting the meds to allow for the best possible outcome.

And so I wait.

Full Steam Ahead

The results are in.  My hormones are nicely suppressed and ovaries are nicely asleep.  So tomorrow I begin the FSH injections with the hopes of getting to another egg retrieval in about two weeks.

That's good news.

What's more on my mind tonight is how grateful I am for my husband.  He keeps me sane.  He keeps me laughing.  He motivates me.  Yes.  He keeps me sane.

Yesterday I was in a really bad head state.  Just really down on myself for no particular reason.  After a short nap he suggested we go to the gym.  I had hesitated starting my new membership since stim was potentially right around the corner, but realized that I can't put my life on hold during this process.  So to the gym we went.

It was my first time to the gym in over a year.  It was my first workout in at least two weeks.  It was my first time on a rowing machine since the 1980s.  It was great!

Sure, I'm a little sore, but I'm also so grateful.  I needed to spend that time on myself.  I needed to vent some frustration and stress in a constructive way.

I needed to be grateful.

Tomorrow is our second anniversary and Eric already gave me the greatest gift.  Gratitude.